Don't Write Your Own Obituary While You're still Alive

There’s an old expression I’ve always liked:

It ain’t over until they put you in the ground, shovel the dirt on top, pat it down and set the tombstone.

It may sound a little blunt, but there’s a powerful truth behind it.

Too many people write their own obituary long before they die.

They reach a certain age and decide their best years are behind them. They stop dreaming, they stop learning and they stop taking chances. They stop asking, “What’s next?”

Their body is still very much alive, but somewhere along the way, their spirit has retired.

Retirement Isn’t the Problem

There’s nothing wrong with retiring from a job. After decades of hard work, having the freedom to choose how you spend your time is a wonderful achievement.

The danger comes when we retire from life.

Research into ageing and longevity suggests that retirement itself doesn’t necessarily shorten our lives. What appears to matter enormously is what happens afterwards.

People who remain physically active, socially connected, mentally engaged and, perhaps most importantly, have a sense of purpose, tend to age better.

In other words, maybe the question isn’t:

“When are you going to retire?”

Maybe it should be:

“What are you going to retire to?”

At 84, Where’s My Passport?

Recently, someone told me about his 84-year-old father.

He had just returned from travelling around Europe—by himself—for six weeks!

I thought that was fantastic.

At an age when some people might be saying, “I’m too old for that,” this gentleman apparently had a different question:

“Where are we going next?”

Think about the curiosity, courage and mindset required to embark on an adventure like that at 84.

He reminded me of the message behind Toby Keith’s song Don’t Let the Old Man In.

We cannot stop ourselves from getting older.

But we don’t have to invite the old man in.

And it reminds me of another thought:

“Some people are not afraid of dying because they have never truly lived!”

There is a tremendous difference between simply being alive and truly living.

Never Retire From Purpose

Purpose doesn’t necessarily mean continuing to run a company or working 50 hours a week.

Your purpose might be mentoring someone younger.

It might be volunteering.

It might be travelling.

It might be learning a language, writing a book, starting a little business, getting healthier, spending meaningful time with your grandchildren or finally doing something you’ve dreamed about for 30 years.

The important thing is having something in front of you.

Something that makes you get out of bed.

Something you're learning.

Someone you're helping.

Somewhere you're going.

A reason to believe that tomorrow still matters.

Don’t Let a Number Define You

I've met young people who seem old and older people who seem remarkably young.

The difference often isn't the number of candles on their birthday cake.

It's their attitude toward the future.

When we stop believing there is anything meaningful ahead of us, we begin living entirely in the rear-view mirror.

That’s when we start writing our obituary while we’re still alive.

So don't allow society—or even your own thinking—to tell you that you've reached the age when you're supposed to sit down, slow down and disappear quietly into the background.

It Ain’t Over Yet

As long as you're breathing, there's still something you can contribute.

Someone needs your experience.

Someone needs your encouragement.

There's another place to visit, another relationship to build, another lesson to learn, another person to help and perhaps even another dream to chase.

So don't write your own obituary while you're still alive.

Keep learning.

Keep growing.

Keep serving.

Keep dreaming.

And whatever you do, don't let the old man in.

Because it ain't over until they put you in the ground, shovel the dirt on top, pat it down and set the tombstone.

Until then, you've still got living to do.